gravity (will bring me down)

I am SUCH a nerd.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:35:14 GMT

Oh, xkcd. How I love you. Please never, never stop indulging my inner nerd. ♥
You need to know something about chemistry to get it, but if you do ohmygod so hilarious!

Considering the fact that I spent a total of 9 hours today studying chemistry, this is one of the best pick-me-ups ever. Reminding me that this insanity can actually be entertaining, too.

Out of it.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 06:42:50 GMT

If my normal, functional thought process could make its way back into my brain, that would be fantastic, thanks.

Another year.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:57:01 GMT

Happy birthday to me. :)

Now, I just need to get through my 4-hour chem lab on four hours of sleep after slightly too much alcohol last night...

and this is what my distractions get me

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:07:00 GMT

Someone conned me out of over $100 yesterday.

I was coaxed into buying a magazine subscription that would presumably go towards cancer research, by a guy who said he was in a frat on campus that was hosting a fundraising competition. He approached me as I was on my way to a meeting, chatting amiably and making jokes and generally being friendly, pitching his magazines, the grand prize trip to London for his frat, and the good cause this was all going to. I agreed to listen, and he was frustratingly persuasive. I agreed to help him out, thinking that I had to shell out at most $40 or so. We went to the ATM so I could pay him; I had no checks on me. (What college kid does??)

He told me to pull $148 out of the ATM (and I, running on 4 hours of sleep and completely stressed/taken by surprise, didn't bother to check whatever receipt he wrote me and did it). I paid him, feeling bad because I hadn't expected to spend that much money but convincing myself it was going to a good cause. After all the time he spent talking to me, I felt bad about turning him away when I was standing at the ATM to pay him. I had a meeting to go to; I left, and he did too. The whole thing was done in less than fifteen minutes.

I had a bad feeling about the whole thing and checked the receipt at the meeting - he never dated or signed it, had written $48 on it when I gave him $148, and I didn't have any of his contact information. I don't know if the name he gave me is fake, or if he's even in a frat.

Mostly I'm furious with myself because it was my own damn fault, and now I can't stop thinking about all the things that should have tipped me off that something wasn't right. But whether it was gullibility, stress, or sleep deprivation, I didn't notice. And I figured I should put some money in my karmic bank, and he was friendly, and...I don't even know. I still can't come up with a sufficient explanation for why I did what I did.

I guess I'm just disappointed - in myself, because I feel like an absolute fucking idiot, and in humanity in general. I forgot that people like that existed, that they would gladly take your money with a smile and a charming smile. I'm pissed that he was laughing at me the entire time in his head as I made a fool of myself.

I've contacted the frat that he was presumably a part of, to see if they are actually doing a drive, and if not, to tell them someone's pretending to be a member and conning money from people doing it. I'm also planning on calling the campus police to inform them as well. I'm not really holding out any hope for a resolution, and certainly not to see my money back ever again.

I know that the worst thing that happens is that I prove myself a gullible fool, and lose $150 to a stranger. It's not the end of the world, even if it sucks.

I guess I'm just having more trouble reconciling the emotional repercussions of it all.

Geeking, and moving in.

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:09:24 GMT

So I just finished watching the newest episode of True Blood and omg. GODRIC. My favorite character and he's already gone? Whut. Noooooo. :( I don't know what it is about his character, or how Allan Hyde plays him, but he's got this depth and maturity that none of the other characters possess on any level. (Perhaps that's what being older than Jesus does for you.) Next to him, Eric looks hotheaded and aggressive, and Bill just looks...insignificant. Actually, Bill has become surprisingly one-dimensional this season, which is disappointing because I was a big fan of him in Season One. There is more to life than telling Sookie you want to keep her safe! That has been pretty well established at this point. Please go back to being interesting.

That being said, I'm not a big fan of Eric/Sookie despite the fact that I am increasingly more fond of both of their character's as the show continues. They just look...weird together. Their chemistry is off (unsurprising, since Bill and Sookie are actually engaged in real life). I don't know. Even though I think Bill is lame this season, he still looks better with Sookie. Cut for spoilers and to spare the rest of you my fangirling.

I'm moving to Berkeley on Saturday! For good, that is. I'm perplexed by my desire to go back to school, but I guess that's the true indicator that I love my school. Even when I can clearly predict the countless nights of pain, organic chemistry, and sleeplessness ahead, I still can't wait to get back there.

I'll be the last to move into my house, but I slept in my own room when I visited there two nights ago and it was glorious. I am so ready for it to be "my" room and already appreciate the upgrade from a twin-size bed to a full-size one. Given my tendency to pick up very tall boys...this is probably a good thing. Paige and I have the most sketch bathroom in the world, meaning that our bathroom is a water closet, shower stall, and sink all situated in the open garage. As in, not enclosed in an actual room. (We need to rig an opaque shower curtain, the shower stall is completely clear.)

And yet somehow I'm still not deterred in my desire to move in. (I may be crazy.)

The next few days will be spent packing and praying to God I don't forget anything important. I've said bye to most of the people I need to say bye to, and the rest of them can come and visit me in Berkeley anyways.

If all goes as planned, this summer is the last time I'll legitimately live in my house as a permanent resident for the next three years (and, if I'm lucky, longer). It's weird having tangible evidence that I'm growing up.

Little things

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:06:07 GMT

Stumbled upon these while cleaning out my room in preparation for The Day I Move Out. I forgot how much I really loved AP English.

Six-Word Stories

from me:

Can't - I'm your sister. Sorry, Luke.

Emo Danish prince dies. The end.

Darth Maul: still alive, just bisected.

from other people/authors/etc:

Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved. - Margaret Atwood

Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something. - David Brin

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly. - Orson Scott Card

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket. - William Shatner

Try telling a story in six words - it's harder than you'd think.

Life.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:19:12 GMT

I'm updating from Berkeley! Haven't actually moved in yet, but my friend is in the middle of training to be an RA and I decided to come up to visit him. Spent the night here, and we are leaving for a dining-hall breakfast momentarily (decidedly better than a lunch or dinner). I really do miss this place. I'll be moving in officially on the 21st or so, I think. I'm...ready to be back. Even if the idea of starting classes again is less than palatable.

I haven't been sleeping well again...I either fall asleep way early because of exhaustion (or pass out and nap during the day) or else I don't sleep until 3am or later. I'm not sure how this will change when I get back to school; it's either going to get better or worse, but really I could use as much sleep as possible at the onset of the semester. :P Stupid insomnia.

In other news, I had a dream about Chris, my ex. I don't remember much except the part where we were at my house with a bunch of people and he followed me up to my room as though he was going to talk to me. When I got to the door of my room I spun around and said something to the equivalent of "Fuck off," because that's pretty much how I feel about him in general in real life. He looked at me indignantly then turned and walked away...and suddenly I broke down. Called out, told him to wait, come back. And he did. And we talked about nothing as we wandered over to my bed, he got under the covers (for some reason he was freezing) and I was crying next to him, we asked each other if the other person is okay and then I just...wake up.

That's the most vividly I can remember dreaming about anyone, and I really wish it wasn't him. I spent the rest of the day trying not to dwell on it, but it only sort of worked. I know I don't like or want him any more, so I don't know what this means.

At least my dreams are still restricted by my mind, funnily enough. He couldn't explain why he'd left me in my dream because I never found out the reason in real life. And I couldn't even get back together with him in my dreams...which is good. I don't want to. Cut to save all of you the tl;dr.

Okay, off to breakfast! I hope they have omelettes. :3

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:30:00 GMT

I need:

a distraction.

to get more sleep.

a boyfriend.

help.

New things.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 09:19:44 GMT

Moodboard, from my graphic design class.

CD cover made from the moodboard.

New layout, new phone, new haircut, new paintings. Same insomnia. Lots of things have been going on in my life lately! Mostly good things, thankfully.

I have more art to post, mostly things from fashion illustration. But a few things from fashion design as well. India ink is not the most forgiving thing I've ever painted with.

Oh god, I have to be up in less than six hours for work.

I need to get better at updating.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:46:32 GMT

Took Josh's advice and started carrying around a Moleskine...I really like it so far.

Drawn today on the CalTrain down from San Francisco.

So my life has suddenly become extremely busy. In a really good way for the most part, though I'm definitely unused to this amount of work after several weeks of lazing around for summer. I've been working at the Children's Discovery Museum every weekend, and started babysitting the two-year-old twins next door twice a week for three hours. I'm enjoying myself! Though I never realized how exhausting it is chasing and picking up after kids constantly. And I've spent a frightening majority of my time around young kids, meaning I have to act really appropriately. My life suddenly feels really sanitized, haha. But I'm making a lot of money, so I have no complaints :)

But tomorrow I start some free workshops that I got in to at the Academy of Art in San Francisco!!! I'm living in the city every Tuesday night for the next three weeks, since my classes are Tuesday-Wednesday. Tuesday is Graphic Design, and Wednesday is Fashion Design and Fashion Illustration (two separate classes). SO EXCITED OMG. I got all my supplies today after orientation and I'm dying to start tomorrow. Legit art classes! It's been waaay too long.

I'm also leaving to drive down to San Luis Obispo again this Thursday, which I am likewise really really excited for. I'll be visiting Paige until Sunday! We have plans for an aqueous odyssey which may or may not involve running across a kiddie pool filled with cornstarch and water. (Yay non-Newtonian fluid! And Mythbusters.) I am also going to satisfy my craving for a giant veggie burrito. It is going to be amazing.

Hope summer is treating everyone well! Sorry I haven't been around much.

Maybe I do, maybe I don't

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:36:48 GMT

Half-assed sketch of Kadaj. I haven't touched my tablet in AGESSSS D:
Click on the picture to see full size.

Hopefully I'll get my scanner working and I'll post more stuff - I'm finally making it out of my art slump! Thanks Casey and Josh for suggestions in the last post :3

Spent the weekend at Tahoe with my family! It was nice - uneventful, but nice. I still don't understand other people's fascination with hiking, but we made it to a couple really cool lakes nestled in the mountains, so that wasn't too bad.

I'm interviewing for a job at the Children's Discovery Museum on Tuesday! My old volunteering manager apparently got promoted and is now "Exhibit Specialist Supervisor," and he's hiring. Fingers crossed - I really want a job this summer. And he remembers who I am!

I am also attending my first beach bonfire ever on Friday :D Eee I'm excited.

Sorry for the list of discombobulated updates. All in all, life is good. :)

Shoulda seen that one coming

Fri, 29 May 2009 23:16:10 GMT

UCB bell tower.

I'm back home for the summer and recuperating nicely. Being home is weird...I don't like how much it feels like high school. I definitely missed my brother and family and it's nice seeing them, but being home just reaffirms how much more ready I am to live on my own.

Consequently life in San Jose (the Suburbia to end all Suburbias) is not that interesting. But I may be working at the Children's Discovery Museum this summer! Which means that I'll essentially get paid to play with small children in the coolest museum ever. And run about doing artsy things! Like building a papier-maché skeleton.

Speaking of artsy things. I've been seriously artblocked (really ever since school started) so I was wondering...anyone have good ideas/sources of inspiration? Really awesome photos or artists that inspire you. Or whatever. I'm open to anything. :)

Haha!

Sun, 17 May 2009 04:16:42 GMT

I am done with my organic chemistry final! The moral of the story is a) I didn't fail and b) I didn't die in the process. Everything else? I'm pretending it's irrelevant.

And instead...sharing a video! Random link someone posted on my facebook. This guy is kind of a bamf.

GAH

Thu, 14 May 2009 06:06:10 GMT

Things I need:

more sleep
passing grades on my math and chemistry finals (ehhh I don't care about linguistics) - preferably, good grades, even!
more amusing conversations with my little brother and dad
caffeine
summer
a nice, long run

Things I do not need:

arguments with my mother about subletting rooms in my house (well it'll be mine starting next semester) for the summer
arguments with my mother in general
people who decide to get drunk during finals week
more stress

Bleh. Arguments with my mother always put me in a bad mood.

Not directed at anyone who is reading this

Mon, 11 May 2009 18:29:32 GMT

this whole oscillating between missing you like crazy and wishing you would die in a fire?
NOT OKAY.
fuck you.

...in other news, today is my last day of classes and my first final is in six days! Cue the panic attacks.

not better by much

Wed, 06 May 2009 05:34:46 GMT

because they're about to be deleted when i finish typing this entry.

(1)
If I think about you too much I miss you like crazy even though you treated me like shit. So I can't think about you at all. I hate the fact that I miss you and I wish I didn't because I know you don't miss me back. And that's probably the worst part. It's just me, and it's just dumb. I hate how easy it was for you to leave me, and I wish I could say it was that easy on my end. You make me regret putting my heart on the line; clearly it wasn't worth anything. I never should've done it. You never should've said anything, I never should've listened, this never should've happened. It wasn't worth everything you did to me, or worth the fact that it still hurts when it shouldn't. I don't want to admit it but I wish you still wanted me. But you don't, I can't find anyone who does, and I can't change that. I wish I could stop wanting it, though. (fuck I hate being here get me out)

(2)
I wish you hadn't happened.

Aftermath.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 05:54:35 GMT

So as it turns out my ex-boyfriend seems to be going out with the girl he originally told me not to worry about. Honestly I'm okay with the fact that we're not together anymore, it's more amusing to me than anything else because...really, I should have seen that one coming. I'll call it darkly amusing?

Not much has been going on with me otherwise, I went to Sacramento for the weekend to attend convention - I'm in Cal Berkeley Democrats, which is a chapter of California College Democrats as well as California Young Democrats. Our convention coincides with the California Democratic Party covention, so I got to see a lot of really cool speakers on the convention floor and attend a bunch of hospitality suites. All paid for by my club! Yessss.

I also designed a number of logos that showed up around the convention - namely, the t-shirt and tote bag logos (the t-shirt one ended up being the umbrella logo for the entire CYD convention this year). The convention chair and coordinator is in Cal Dems and I did it on a whim...I just didn't realize my logo would be worn by 800 people over the course of the weekend. D:

The t-shirt logo:

So, a relatively good but exhausting weekend. Now...back to work? :P

Just a note.

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 23:39:22 GMT

To anyone who ever has to break up with another person:

For the love of God and all that is holy, do not do it via text message.

You only get ONE shot at conveying this information to them. Putting "But I do want to talk to you about it in person" at the end of the text doesn't make it better -- really, no one will want to talk to you about it again so they can be broken up with a second time. It was fun enough the first time you said it.

Cordially (and somewhat bitterly) yours,
Alyssa

Boreddddd.

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:50:33 GMT

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
Rubik's cube, iPod, cell phone, sewing machine, easel

2. How do you style your hair?
Blow dry it after I shower and brush it. Straight, well-behaved hair ftw!

3. What are you wearing now?
Pajama pants, tank top, and a USC sweatshirt XD

4. What's your occupation?
Student!

5. The best thing to happen of you as late?
A potential boyfriend :)

6. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with Steven King books or Dave Barry?
Dave Barry :P

7. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
NCIS! I wish I could be half as cool as any of them :(

8. What's the last thing you ate today?
Tangerines! The "Cuties" or whatever that are really easy to peel lol

9. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Probably a Relient K song? Not because I'm religious (because I'm not) but I feel like it'd be appropriate.

10. What websites do you visit when you go online?
CalMail, Gmail, Facebook, Livejournal, Go Fug Yourself, and Yahoo Weather XD

11. What's the last thing you bought?
Veggie burrito and horchata with Ian today in Santa Cruz! I have never had horchata before...why didn't anyone tell me it was so unbelievably delicious?

12. What are you listening to now?
My dad's conference call for work going on in his study

13. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Potential boyfriend. ;) Also what time I have to wake up the next morning.

14. What was the last CD you bought?
I think I bought the newest Jason Mraz CD for my mom? Because her car is dumb and won't play burned copies of CDs, only the originals :P

15. What is your favorite weather and why?
Cold and crisp, with overcast/gray skies and a little bit windy. I don't know why, I've always loved that weather. Maybe because that's what the weather tends to be like around my birthday?

16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
Piano! I wish I could do more than simply sightread and accompany myself while singing, haha.

17. How are you?
I'm really content and excited. I had a really good day :D

18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
I don't really have anything to say to anyone...yet.

19. What's one of your favorite movies?
Fight Club ♥

20. Name four things you would never leave home without.
Cell phone, ID, keys, iPod. Simple enough :D

I went to Santa Cruz to see Ian today, which was heavenly. Ended up taking the express bus from here to Santa Cruz, and he picked me up at the bus stop. I got to meet his mom! Who, as it turns out, is also pretty tall. No wonder Ian ended up being nearly 6'4" D:

We lazed around on Seabright beach after chilling at his house for a couple hours, eating burritos and just talking. I hadn't realized how much I missed the beach until I actually got there and laid down. It felt nice to just...relax.

Unfortunately I had an epiphany earlier this afternoon where I realized that I have a math midterm next week that I had TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT. Really, really not cool. I also have another ochem midterm in a couple weeks, which is going to be crucial if I want to do well in this class. I hate it when midterms creep up on me!

Sooo...looks like tomorrow is study day! Whatever, I'm just happy to be on break ♥

Good Lord.

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 09:30:20 GMT

My life is unnecessarily complex right now. And half of it is in my head, and I have no control over it.

The other half is unnervingly tangible, and while I essentially know it's going to work itself out, I could do without the anxiety and the brainwork. Really, I could.

Also, I'm on spring break and back home. Hi, guys. :)

It's like a sickness.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 08:57:45 GMT

My life has been hectic in a lot of really good and really bad ways. Today was particularly awful.

Sorry I haven't been around much at all, I've either been having way too much fun or feeling like shit. Hopefully that'll change by the time I hit spring break in a week.

...God, I really need a break.

Re: Phyllis Schlafly, and other Political Things.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 10:18:13 GMT

According to Phyllis Schlafly:

Feminism is incompatible with happiness.

Feminists don't believe that women can succeed.

Feminists are man-hating lesbians.

The solution to domestic violence: avoid associating with bad men! (this is assuming we acknowledge that it actually happens/exists)

Some gems from tonight.

So I went to see Phyllis Schlafly talk tonight. (The Berkeley prof. ended up having to be on-call for radios and news programs for commentary on Obama's address to Congress - arguably a pretty legit reason to skip debating with Phyllis Schlafly)

It's two am so I'll do a full update later...but I will say that her close-mindedness and the comments she made as a result physically disgusted me. Paige and I eventually left with our friend Cora because we just...couldn't handle how she was answering some of the questions thrown at her. I was sickened and shocked that any one person could be so unreasonably ignorant.

...But afterward we (well, a bunch of Cal Dems people, Paige, and me) went out to get amazing frozen yogurt ever at Yogurt Park, and stood around and debriefed with each other for an hour. Which was both necessary and really really amazing. And it inspired phrases like "trickle my-dick-in-your-face economics." (...yeah, Maxim really hates Reagan)

[ETA, quickly] I also watched Robert Reich (the former Secretary of Labor under Clinton, and a professor at Berkeley) give a lecture on the current economic crisis this morning, which was really interesting. He basically outlined what events he thought led up to the crisis (blind faith in continued rising housing prices), and assessed how effective the stimulus (and future plans) would be in rebuilding the economy (we will most likely need more than one or two stimulus packages).

It was really good...and I was extremely excited to hear Obama essentially repeat half of Reich's speech in his address to Congress tonight. The emphasis was really on using stimulus to rebuild and strengthen the economy - once the economy returns to prosperity, the loans involved in the stimulus spending can be taken care of. And historically that's seemed to be the case. Also I love Obama even more after tonight's speech, if that's even possible. In anyone else his optimism and idealism would irk me a little, but mostly I just felt inspired by how he thinks and what his plans are. (Watching Nancy Pelosi's expressions in the background was also a great source of entertainment.) Really, I can't be happier about his stand on education, and even on the economy a bit. Even if it doesn't all happen, I'll be grateful that we have a president who is at least moving along really forward-thinking lines.

...God, I love going to Berkeley. Well, except for the fact that I have an ochem midterm Thursday night that I am studying like a MADWOMAN for. That's not so fun.

Musings.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 10:21:41 GMT

We have the best window decorations ever.

School has been going crazy again, which sucks. My midterms keep creeping up on me and it's freaking me out a little. (I just discovered on Sunday how much studying I need to do for my organic chemistry midterm Thursday...not good.) But hey, no 4-hour chem lab on Friday morning! WIN.

Phyllis Schlafly is coming to speak at Berkeley tomorrow, thanks to the Berkeley College Republicans (all four of them). One of our women's history professors is apparently attending solely so she can ask questions and essentially tear Phyllis Schlafly apart. It should be really entertaining. I mean, Phyllis Schlafly:

was one of the most vocal opponents of the Equal Rights Amendment. The bill that was intended to guarantee equal rights regardless of sex? That one.

doesn't think marital rape exists. According to her, "By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape."

thinks feminists are all sad, bitter, men-hating women who whine about being victimized.

Me and a bunch of other people from Cal Dems are going tomorrow, solely to watch the Berkeley prof. and Phyllis duke it out. I feel like it'll be a very...world-expanding experience. I want her to try being a science major and then tell me that equal opportunities across genders aren't worth fighting for.

She's the first clip in this trailer. (Some of the rest of the quotes are pretty hilarious, too.)

I just don't understand how she feels like she can speak for all women when she makes these comments. Fine, okay, if you and your friends feel that way, I completely respect that. But assuming that women everywhere are going to feel the same way as you is absurd. I think there was some quote where she said that "No woman in the military wants to be treated the same way as men in combat." But how does she know that??? (I'm pretty sure she's no war veteran.)

In any case, that's what I'm up to tomorrow. It should be an interesting day, to say the least.

Just beneath my feet

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:08:17 GMT

It's been pouring like CRAZY the last few days...today was the first day it didn't rain.

And instead of going running like I want to, I am awake at 7:30 doing my math homework. I found out my math professor has a Wiki article about him, in which he actually sounds kind of cool. Too bad he's the WORST math teacher I have ever had. It's pretty clear he's painfully bored teaching us, and he hates it and shows it and makes the rest of us miserable. I wish the university would find someone else to teach beginner calculus, because having Borcherds as a professor sucks. Paige and I will probably stop showing up to lectures altogether, because he's too lazy to even write his own tests so generally they're questions out of our book, with the numbers switched.

It's really depressing when going to class actually feels like a waste of my life.

I am ridiculously busy all of a sudden, which kind of sucks. But this weekend we might be going to the beach to have a bonfire if it's not raining! And this week has proved to be better than last week (not difficult), so I'm feeling much better about life in general. :)

Belated Love.

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:42:38 GMT

My mother is adorable. And is wishing you a belated happy St. Valentine's Day!

The men and women's chorales were selling Valentine's grams - quartets of chorale members go out to sing songs to assigned people at assigned locations. So of course my mom wanted me to sing one to her...which I arranged. It was cute, the songs we sang were "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" and "Come Go With Me," which is this adorable 50's doo-wop song.

The ~~quartet~~ quintet! (The altos came in a pair.) My friend Andrew would be the bass in the blue jacket who can't quite remember his part. I love him.

Me, courtesy of my dad.

The rest of my weekend was really good. Paige and I celebrated our single-ness by staying in on Valentine's Day, eating lots of chocolate, and watching Love Actually. In all honesty neither of us particularly cared that we were single (for once), but it was nice having someone else to do something with. And we threw a floor party that night for a friend; her birthday is Valentine's Day.

The price I pay for having a good weekend is spending today cooped up in my room finishing homework. I did actually manage to get some things done, which was good. Boo math midterms. (The weather this weekend has actually kind of sucked, it's been windy and rainy these past few days. Homework = excuse to stay inside.) But I definitely appreciate the good weekend; I really needed it. :D

Hope you all had good weekends too! And may the rest of this week be kinder to you than last week was to me. XD