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20 February 2011 @ 09:28 pm
was out of town, now back on track  


I left town for a few days/got busy with midterm studying. But I am making up for that now! Up to day 5.

Day 3: Drugs and alcohol
So...drugs. I don't really like them (pot makes me paranoid/hallucinate, and that's the only recreational drug I've ever tried), and as a consequence I don't do them. I have friends who do though and enjoy it -- and in general my friends are all smart enough to have their habits in moderation and don't get themselves in any truly stupid shit. I don't judge them.

As for alcohol...I like it. I drink moderately on a somewhat regular (maybe once a month? if that?) basis, as in a couple of shots at the one party I go to in a month. I've only been drunk enough to throw up once (my birthday) and with any luck that won't happen again -- though I know my friends have other plans for my 21st birthday. :P I prefer drinking in moderation as opposed to people getting shitfaced everywhere, and as it turns out I tend to keep friends that drink the way I do, too.

I'm lucky enough that I haven't had any family history or problems with drug abuse or alcoholism, which is nice. I can't imagine how awful it would be for someone whose life has been a lot more adversely affected by either one. If that was the case for me, I'd probably feel much differently about it all.

Day 4: Views on religion
I'm agnostic. I don't believe in the Christian god exclusively, or in the Bible. I suppose it stems from reading Greek and Norse myths my entire childhood, but in my head I tend to picture the powers that be as a community of gods - that very well may include Buddha, God, and Zeus - that have their way with the world and each other. The deities in my mind have flaws, much like the Greek gods do. I figure there's some cosmic power up there, but he/she/it/they are too clever to let us truly pin down who they are or what they do.

Day 5: A time I thought about ending my own life
I was depressed through a lot of 8th grade and the beginning of high school. It wasn't until my senior year that I got really comfortable in my own skin -- and even then, I felt incredibly alone in the world. My closest friends had both found significant others (that they'd been dating for years) and I felt pretty abandoned. And the stress of school really got to me. But I think it was worst around 8th and 9th grade, and I can't even remember why. I just remember that I felt like the most worthless human being alive, and that I actually thought it would be better if I just wasn't around anymore.



I'm still not caught up (lagging one day behind) but I'll fix that later, when I don't desperately need a shower / need to study for midterms.

:)
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feeling: fullfull
listening: Edith Piaf - La Vie en Rose